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My ex and I broke up a while ago. But I still waited to see him and do things with him. We have been togther on and off. Doing the friends with benefit thing. While he was seeing another girl. Now he has broke it off. And we started hang out more. But he says he loves me. But at the same time he doesnt think we should get back together. But he enjoys us going out and then coming over and staying the night. What should I do?


You should stop giving yourself to him. It sounds like the only reason you continue to have sex with him is because you think he will come back to a relationship with you. He won't. He's not thinking the same as you or he would have started the relationship up again already. Guys will do this. They will have sex with you for as long as you let them. It doesn't mean they want the same things as you though. They will also tell you anything to keep you having sex with them. You won't be able to get over him and find some one who cares for you until you realize that. Stop seeing him and give your self a chance to find some one new.


Is it possible that I am looking for a dad in a boyfriend? Cause I never had one and I feel like in a way when I go out with someone I want to feel secure with them and in a way I like to be treated like a little girl by who ever I am dating. So is that ok that I am looking for a "dad in a boyfriend"..cause I think that thats what I'm doing!


That's a really tough question to answer. I definitely think you are looking for a father figure, after all you have reflected on your situation and realized this need in your self. Is it ok? Its probably fine as long as the men are not abusive to you. The problem of seeking father figures in your relationships could come later. After some time being in a relationship you may find your self coming to terms with not having a father when you where a child. You would then most likely feel suppressed with your current relationship and desire to move on. If the way you feel is bothering you though, you should spend some time away from relationships altogether and really get to know your self. Being alone can really give you a chance to develop your own sense of security with out relying on a man.


My ex says he wants to get back together. We live together, sleep in the same bed and have a child together but he wants to date other women yet still makes passes at me. Why does he want me around?


Well, why wouldn't he want you around? He's got it made. He doesn't have to commit to a relationship with you and he still gets all of the privliges. You really are putting yourself at risk to catch a disease from this guy. Not to mention what he's already doing to your self esteem. It sounds like its time for you to move out and move on. He doesn't place any value on a relationship with you, and as long as you stay there you won't be able to find someone who does.


I just broke up with my boyfriend when i still had feelings for him. At first he wanted me bac really bad and told me all that i cant live wit out you junk... but when i said that i was willing to work things out and give him another shot, he turns around and says now he needs time to himself and to think. I realize that he needs time to think but i really do have strong feelings for him, and he says he does for me too. So should i just give him his time and space or wut should I do, this kinda threw me for a loop.

Either he's trying to play head games with you in order to get his way some how or he is wanting to continue the sex part of your relationship without having to "work things out". I guess the only way to find out which of the two he's up to is to go ahead and give him his space. If he then talks about working on the relationship then that's what he wants. If he just strings you along more, well, its probably just more sex he wants.


My boyfriend came on strong in the first few months, but things soon changed. As soon as I said something when he started going away with his buddies every weekend, he broke up with me. Then, he begged me to come back two days later. He said he wanted to work things out, but he still went out to bars with his friends (leaving his cell phone off) on nights that we had plans. I found out that he has a history of cheating. He told me he never loved me--that I took it out of context and that he didn't really mean it. He also said that he still has feelings for his ex, but later said that he never said that. He told me that his ex was a bitch and that he was a really great boyfriend with her. He tried to make me stick around and feel sorry for him. After I broke up with him, he said he needs me in his life and fought with me to stay friends. One weekend, I started to act like a "friend" and he discouraged me from going out with him, emphasizing that he would be meeting a bunch of his friends. Recently, he bought me a present, but he has been trying to get me to call him in order to get it. I'm tired of being strung along. How do I reverse the roles so that I can screw with him and make him pay?

Wow, this guy certainly needs to pay! Try ignoring him for a little while, this usually drives guys crazy. Then when you talk to him and make plans to do something make sure you stand him up or say you're going out with a friend at the last minute. He'll be mad at you so you will have to say sorry the next day and try to sound sincere. Wait for him to make plans with you again, don't be the one to initiate it, agree and then stand him up again! Keep doing this until he becomes as frustrated as you feel then tell him you can't make plans with him anymore because you're dating one of his friends. Oh, when he asks who the friend is tell him you can't say because the guy made you promise not too. That should make him crazy!


Is it possible to be friends with your ex when you still love him? he told me that his feelings for me now are just for friendship and i just agreed rather than loosing him.. even if it hurts.. but we're always fighting on some things, pls help?

That's really hard to do. Being friends with different motivations can even make the chances of getting back together worse. For ideas to win him back please read this page: When You Still Love Him
Its not too late to try these ideas if you start now.


What do i say to my ex boyfriend to make him cry???


Tell him you feel bad things didn't work out for him with you but not to worry too much because you feel confident that some day he might find a special woman who can love him despite his complete lack of sexual function if he's willing to overcome his huge personality issues. Then tell him its not his fault that his best friend was so much better in bed its just the card he was dealt in life!


SAME MAN 26 YEARS, WE HAD A SPLIT FOR ABOUT A MONTH, HE TALKED TO A WOMAN FROM A HELP LINE AND WHEN WE GOT BACK TOGETHER HE TOLD HER NOT TO CALL ANYMORE, NOW I HAVE FOUND WHERE SHE KEEPS CALLING, SHOULD I CALL HER AND CONFRONT HER OR CONFRONT HIM AGAIN OR WHAT. I CANT STAND HIM GOING BEHIND MY BACK. WHAT TO DO?

This is completely within HIS control. If he no longer wanted her calling it would be very simple for him to make her stop. I'm not sure what the whole help line thing is about or if this led to dating the woman or what...but he could stop it if he wanted to! It really would be futile for you to call her if he is only encouraging it when you're not around. This just doesn't add up to him being truthful with either you or the calling woman. This might be a good time for a little undercover work on your part. Check out the Spy Page for ideas.


Me and My bf broke up in oct. and a week later I found out that he was dating another girl. He told me that he wasnt happy with her, and he was with me. I have tried to get over him but i just can't. I can't sleep at night, can't eat, or anything. I need help on what to do. If he breaks up with her should I go back out with him? Why do I still love him? Why do I still care? Why do I dream about him everynight? Please Help Me!!!!

This guy is only going to hurt you! Instead of working things out with you he started dating another girl. Then, while he's with the new girl (victim) he tells you he's unhappy with her, instead of trying to work things out with her. It doesn't sound like he is interested in making a relationship work but only in making himself happy for the moment. If you go back out with him then you are essentially telling him that its OK to do this to you again. And he probably will. Try to understand what it is about him that you really miss. Is it the quality he added to your life? Is it how he lifted you closer to your own goals? If not you may just be lonely or maybe unable to come to terms with the fact that something you were working on failed. Just know that loneliness is only temporary and time alone can help you know yourself better. Knowing yourself better will help you decide if a man is worth a relationship and that makes the chances of it being successful much greater.


How can i win him back when i was the one who did wrong. I really love him my life has been a living nightmare without this man. So please give me some advice on what to do. I work with his mother and she know how much I love him.

You have to give him some space for now. Its hard not to pick up the phone and constantly plead with him but he needs to feel like you have reflected on the situation. So, don't call him and don't see him for a little while. Try a week. Then, when you speak to him be calm and be direct, telling him just the facts of how you feel about him without pleading. Don't try to make him answer any questions or come to a conclusion just tell him how you feel then let him go. If you don't hear back from him do the same thing every few days. You should also understand that even if you get back together its unlikely that things will be the same as before. The best thing you can do for the future is to figure out why you sabotage your own happiness and how to keep yourself from doing it again.


I have been seeing this guy for a month or so, we spend a lot of time together. He changed jobs, just got out of a relationship, he was very keen and now I dont hear a word?

You should move on and find another guy because I think he has found another girl or just isn't interested anymore. Sorry to say it, but when a guy is interested he at least calls. So, if you haven't heard from him don't bother with him. You've only been seeing him for a month anyway so just forget the jerk!


How early is too early to tell her I love her?

Too early is: right after sex, if she's trying to break up with you, if you were caught cheating or lying, if you want to barrow money. Besides all those things you should wait some time to really know who she is. That also gives you a chance to really know if you do love her for her. I'd say wait at least six months to say the "L" word or you may risk sounding insincere.


Will Ben come back to me?


I have no idea...


My ex, won't go away! I've had 'private' phone calls I know are him. Emails of Music Vidoes that talk about exs, love, hate ect and now, his away message is "My name is a c*nt" I don't really care, I just wish he would get over it cause hes the one that called it off first, so when I decided to move on and agreed to call it off, he comes BEGGING me not to leave him. AH! Get the F*CK over it. Men are stupid. He came over one day, talked to me all nice like, and my new b/f which he knows is my b/f and played nice like to him too, so what his deal? I want to do something to make him leave me alone but what the hell am I supposed to do? I would love to get the cops involved somehow, but I can't really think of a way, -sigh- Thank you for this site, I needed ideas and a rant place. Thank you.

He's stalking you! If you asked him to stop and he won't then he's a bit crazy! And he's a stalker! That's enough to get a protective order from the police. If he violates that then he could face jail time. You should also have absolutely no contact with him at all. Even a call telling him to stop being crazy is enough to encourage his craziness. If he is not affected by a protective order or he starts leaving you messages like This One then its time to pack up your things in the middle of the night and move to a new state! Really!


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